“The Truth shall bind and beat you.”
“Even now, on the eve of Election Day, the campaign battle is undecided. But, inside sources say Generalissimo Puerco's forces have a strong lead, holding 26 of the 31 registered ballot stations.”
“Today is Election Day, and we urge all citizens to vote NO with the weapon of their choice.”
“We are pleased to announce that Generalissimo Puerco, alias Jonathan Sunshine, alias Ronald Unreasonable, alias None of the Above, has won the election by a unanimous vote.”
“In a surprise move to show that he too is making sacrifices, his excellency, El Puerco has blown up his presidential palace.”
“This is not a coup. Parliament still makes all the decisions. We're just here to make sure they make the right ones.”
“My friends, I foresee the dawn of a new age. I foresee a time when Vissertown will stand united, and be a shining example for the rest of the world. And, I foresee only the greatest of prosperity in the years ahead.”
“I foresee you needing some more bodyguards. Soon.”
“Every time Puerco enters a champion in the Game, he puts on a few more pounds.”
“The abilities of this Brandy Charlatan, and her entire crew, are vastly overrated. She and her pathetic 'radio station' will be captured within days, and that will put an end to this rebel nonsense.”
“Loath, you couldn't find your stump with both hands. Sincerely, Brandy Charlatan and the Gang at KViSR.”
“President-For-Life El Puerco has given his personal assurance that this will be a Kindler and Gentler war.”
“Today's forecast calls for heavy contact along the northern outskirts, strong probes throughout the neutral zone, and scattered artillery barrages throughout the evening.”
“Today's travel report…Small arms fire along Route 6 with bursts of heavy machine gun fire. Blast shields are required below 3000 feet.”
“Puerco just talks…KViSR Rocks!”
“PRESIDENT PUERCO? IN A PIG'S EYE!”
“EL PUERCO IS JUST A HAM”
“EL PUERCO IS A SCU-”
“K-VISSER! YELL IT, DON'T SPELL IT!”
“She Scrubbed my face with a Scouring Pad”
“Bonk, Bonk On the Head”
“Don't It Make My Blue Eyes Black”
“Who Knows, Who Cares, Why Bother”
“If You Love Me, Slam My Head Against the Wall”
“Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, It's to the Games we go, With Razor Blades and Hand Grenades, Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho.”
“I've been getting a lot of requests to play 'Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, It's to the Games We Go', by the Seven Scum, but I'm not going to because I'm sick of it.”
“Remember, all you folks playing the Game…If you swallow your pride, you can swallow more food.”